I am an oncology RN. I was diagnosed in July of 2002 at age 43 years old with Stage 
IIIc ovarian cancer. I had had a hysterectomy in 1997 for uterine fibroids, but my 
ovaries remained because I was told I was too young to have them removed.  
Both my grandmother and great aunt died of ovarian cancer - my great aunt 
with breast and ovarian before age 50 and my grandmother in her 80's. At the 
time of my hysterectomy I was not offered an opportunity for genetic testing 
and the family history was discounted because it was removed by one 
generation and was on my father's side of the family. We know much more now about genetics and 
family history than we did in 1997.

My early symptoms included back and sciatic pain with weight gain and 
abdominal bloating. I did see doctors about my back with no diagnosis. In 
April 2002 I saw a gynecologist Nurse Practitioner because of overwhelming 
fatigue and just not feeling right. I had a negative exam. Three months 
later, I was diagnosed after not being able to tolerate sitting because of 
pain.

Fortunately I had access to a gynecology oncologist and received excellent 
surgical debulking and followup with an experienced oncologist. I had six 
cycles of carbo/taxol and then f/u with second look surgery and IP treatment 
with Topotecan for 4 cycles in an experimental trial here in Seattle. I have 
continued to have low CA125 levels and do regular followup with my doctors. I 
find it  challenging to evaluate the pros/cons of prophylactic masectomy. I 
do alternating mammograms and breast MRI at this time.

My diagnosis in July 2002 happened while I was working full time and deeply 
involved in caring for my mother and stepfather's health issues. The year 
before my diagnosis was stressful for our whole family. We lost my stepfather 
three months after my diagnosis.  My mother was recovering and learning to 
move after a below the knee amputation. It was a pretty overwhelming time. My 
mother died in early 2005 of lung cancer.

My biggest inspiration was my daughter, Kelsey, and her new horse, Kipper. I 
had to drive her to lessons and loved being out at the barn. Being around 
the girls and other parents kept me focused on enjoying every day. My 
knowledge as an oncology RN was sometimes hard to shut off. Being outdoors 
with animals in all kinds of weather helped me a lot. It was hard because I 
worried about missing my daughter's growing up if I did not survive. I did 
not want to miss a moment.

Time has passed, and our family has moved through the immediate survival fears 
into a new normal. I celebrated 7 years this July! I have used my love for 
horses to overcome my fatigue and face my fears. My husband understands the 
motivation I gain being with our horse and supports me 100%. I took
over the care and riding of our current horse, Atticus, when my daughter 
joined the Navy in 2007.

Faith has been instrumental and I am grateful for special friends who have 
shared spiritual support and prayers. I really believe that it is important 
to push physically to regain strength after surgery and chemotherapy. And it 
is important to find an activity that is not only physical, but mentally and 
spiritually uplifting.

I have been protective with my time and energy, often with worry about 
whether my cancer will come back. I had a five year plan to do many things 
on my wish list. I have done some of them and have more to do. Right now, I 
feel strong and able to begin more public advocacy efforts for ovarian and 
breast cancer awareness, especially for those women with genetic markers. It 
is new for me to become more public about my own personal history. I am eager 
to help the Ovarian and Breast Cancer Alliance of WA Team for the Swedish 
SummerRun 2009.

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